Heading to Canada

 Eric Williams | 16 April, 2011
travel Canadia 

I'm getting ready to head over to Montreal, or "Mon' cccchhhhrayall" as the indigenous people of Canadia refer to it. It's all about business, though, and I unfortunately will not be seeing any hockey playoffs, except maybe on TV.

Not that it's sounding bad at the moment, mind you. I'm sitting in a bar in Heathrow's Terminal 5 watching two televisions. TV #1 is displaying cricket, which is England's version of baseball. TV #2 is playing Fawlty Towers with subtitles, which is England's version of waterboarding. God damn, I hate Fawlty Towers.

Montreal looks to have some sights to see, but I'm not sure what the opening hours look like. I've been living on the goofy side of the pond for going on 13 years now, and I'm actually accustomed to things like paying a license fee for television ownership and bars closing at 10 o'clock at night. Not to mention dog tax. With that in mind, it could be that bars are open 24x7, the restaurants never close, and we'll never get any older and we won't ever die. This is my expectation, and you should know I don't react well to disappointment.

This will be my first trip to Canada. I've been to a fair number of countries, but the list has been pretty static for a while now. In the past months I've expanded it with Greece and Canada. Next month, I'll be heading to Hungary for the first time.

Coming up: How to handle a full passport.